Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would have to share my kid. He is my kid. I endured eleven hours of labor (non-medicated, I must add) so it is only right that he is mine 100% of the time right? Wrong. The truth is he is just as much as his father’s child as he is mine. This became a very harsh reality when his father and I decided to go our separate ways and co-parenting became our reality. My once uncompromised time with my little boy became shared. Holidays were now split and I was devastated. I am sure this type of transition would be tough on any parent. Our children are our hearts outside of our bodies and having to go from having them around 100% of the time to 50% of the time (or in some cases, even less) is traumatic. I had to come up with some sort of means to help me cope.
I first challenged myself to get a hobby. This had to be something that would keep my mind busy and not thinking about what my little one was doing without me. Beauty and writing had always been passions of mine, so I decided to combine the two and start a blog. Around the same time I found a KitchenAid for a killer deal at my favorite store, Target. Beauty, baking, and writing became my escapes. They were my personal forms of therapy when all I wanted to do was lay around and mope because I missed my little boy.
I also reached out to my friends who were in similar situations. I was sure that if there was anything we could all relate to it would be this. We decided to support each other in our emotional times. Brunch, shopping dates, and buddy workouts would replace me slumping on the couch missing my son. I started to realize that the time in between my son leaving and returning started to feel shorter. I was also happier and felt more fulfilled. I would be excited to have a new baked goodie ready for him when he arrived back home.
Please do not think for a second that life is peachy keen when I am away from my son. It definitely is not. I still find myself watching videos that I’ve taken and swiping through the thousands of pictures of him on my phone. He is greatly missed when we are not together. Finding ways to cope with co-parenting, however, has made this difficult situation a little easier to bear.
Do any of you engage in co-parenting? How do you cope? I would love to hear your experiences in the comments.