After squeezing a tiny human out of what you used to recognize as your vagina, it’s tough for you to even begin to imagine intimacy. The “honeymoon phase” of sex after marriage is all about romance, lingerie, and late nights of candles lighting up the room. Sex after baby is all about…well, who has time for that? Instead of your husband keeping you up late at night, now it’s a screaming baby who needs every bit of your attention.
Though sex after baby can be thought of as the least of your worries, it’s necessary. I know that the very thought of anything even going near your baby maker is terrifying, to say the least. However, sex after baby can be just as great (if not better) than the “honeymoon phase” if you let it.
Oh believe me, I know how tired you are. With my husband working nights and not getting home until 11:00pm or later, I know how hard it is to keep your eyes open, let alone be ready for some lovin’. Coffee has been my saving grace. Staying awake to get some “alone time” with my husband makes him feel important and helps me feel more rested for a good night’s sleep. It’s worth every wink of sleep missed.
“I’m so fat and ugly and have a baby pouch and stretch marks and, and, and….” Yes. I still say these things 19 months postpartum when my husband sees me naked, but I’ve learned to embrace it. My husband tells me I’m beautiful every. single. day. I need to believe him. I’m one lucky girl to have such an amazing guy, but nonetheless, I’ve had to embrace that my body IS different. If you’re a breastfeeding mama like myself, it’s gonna be messy no matter what you’re doing; sex, showers, or feeding the baby. Messy. Isn’t that part of motherhood? Or even being a wife? Embrace the mess. Embrace the change. Embrace the intimate time with your husband.
I know what you’re thinking. “Time? Who has time?” You have to make time. I know how hard it is. My husband and I both work full time and have opposite schedules. I know. Stay up late, get up early, take a shower together. Make time. Babies take naps. Take advantage of the extra time you’re given and make time to be intimate with your husband.
Intimacy is full of emotions. Experience sex on an emotional level together by being close physically as well. You created a human being with this person. It doesn’t have to involve rose petals or candles, but intimacy after baby is crucial for marriage. Caffeine up, embrace the change, and make time for one of the most important parts of your marriage. You both need it and you both deserve it.
Do you have any stories, advice, or comments on intimacy after baby? Tell us your thoughts by commenting below!