The other day I went to a workshop titled “Change” by The Zen Bird. I went because I don’t like change and wanted to see if there were any directional tools I could use to help cope when change starts to happen. While there, one of the questions posed was,
“What is happening right now in your life regarding change?”
For me, one big thing I’m starting to have to let go of is all the baby items in the house. I’ve struggled with the idea of “just one more” for months now and all the things I’ve held onto for “just in case” or “what if” are now seeming more and more like baggage preventing me from changing, and preventing me from growing.
The following week I went to Bible Study and they also spoke about change. I spoke with my friend about our current lives and how things were going afterwards and told her I was still thinking of wanting another baby. Then she said something that hit me,
“Of course I would love to do THAT again, I loved doing THAT but now I’m doing THIS and I love THIS.”
It hit me hard. Here I am struggling with whether or not to have another one when I have two healthy and happy kiddos needing my full attention and help right in front of me. I also started thinking that I may like the idea of another baby because I know what to do with babies. I don’t know how to raise 4, 5, and 6 year olds, yet that’s where I’m headed. More change.
So instead of worrying or wondering if I should have more babies, I’m going to soak up what I have. I’m going to love on them and give them a great childhood with what I know now. Right now we are not having another one. Right now we are done. So I need to live like that in full force so I can give all the love and attention to the two gifts I already have. I also need to start focusing on me. This new season gives me more time for myself and things I want to do. I’m also working on starting the 21 day fix after Labor Day and want to stick with it until Christmas. This is … you guessed it … another change! I’m hoping to change my body and my confidence.
Needless to say some major de-cluttering and purging has started in our home, as I finally got rid of my absolute favorite maternity clothes by handing them off to a dear friend. It’s hard to change especially when you are unsure or whether you’re fully on board, or even really want change. It’s scary but also exciting. It’s ironic that my change is happening during the seasonal change from summer to fall, but it’s also reminding me that what lies ahead on the other side will be beautiful, because fall is beautiful.
Anyone out there struggle with change? Is there anything you have found to help you get through the process a little easier?