Getting married and having children at a young age was something I always wanted. We were surrounded by people I love at our wedding with nine bridesmaids, nine groomsmen, and nearly 300 guests. All of our family and friends watched us commit to each other for the rest of our lives. The people who stood by us, who gave us their well wishes and blessings … these were the people we were sure would be a part of our lives forever. Then our wedding was over. Our guests gave hugs and wished us a wonderful honeymoon and happy marriage and we left excited for our honeymoon with all of the adventures our new marriage would bring.
We were blessed two months later to see the bright pink line say “positive” on a pregnancy test. It was an even greater adventure to be a part of and we were more than thrilled to share this news with our large amount of family and friends. On Facebook, we were told how happy everyone was for us and how excited they were, but the farther along I got through my pregnancy, I realized I lost many friends along the way.
Becoming a mom at a young age meant so many things for me, but the friends that had surrounded us at our wedding months prior were all single and without children. It was hard for them to truly understand the, “I’m so sorry, but I can’t eat there because I will literally vomit if I smell a hamburger,” when I was invited to dinner. It wasn’t easy for them to see that a giant pregnant lady going with them to a club wasn’t something I necessarily wanted other people to witness or be a part of.
I don’t blame the friends who probably think, “I’m sure she’s busy. She’s a mom, you know.” Because…well, yes! I’m overwhelmingly busy now. I don’t even use the restroom by myself anymore and I can’t remember the last time I shaved my legs because my showers typically involve a toddler smacking my butt while I’m trying to wash my hair. They’re right, I AM busy. However, to the friends who reach out and ask, “Wanna grab lunch?” anyways, thank you.
Thank you for not avoiding conversation with me even though every other word involves my son’s name.
Thank you for inviting me to your parties, even though you know I probably won’t be able to make it because I go to bed at 9:00 pm, at the latest.
Thank you for understanding that even though my life is INSANE, our friendship means so much more than you’ll ever know and when I don’t text or call back right away it’s not you.
Thank you for asking how my son is doing. It really shows me that you care not only about me but also about the most important person in my life.
Thank you for offering to come to my place instead of going to a restaurant because you know it’s no fun for either of us when my toddler is screaming because I wouldn’t let him eat only ketchup with a spoon for his meal.
Thank you for sticking around.
I know it’s hard. I know I’m not in the same phase of life that I used to be, but I’m still exactly who I used to be, and you realize that. You realize that my world isn’t the same because this little boy has become my world entirely. You realize when I need a break from life and you take me out for a “girls night.” You don’t judge me when I haven’t washed my hair in days and you join me in wearing sweatpants when we go out because you totally understand when I have God-knows-what spilled on my only pair of good jeans. You understand that my son may have become the center of my life, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t a part of it any less.
Becoming a mom has had many sacrifices, but it has also proven to me what amazing friendships I have in my life to those who didn’t leave and even to those who did. Family and friends who have fought for our relationships have truly meant the world to me. They understand this crazy life of being a mom, even if they haven’t become one yet. That’s what true friendship has really proven to me.