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Decoding Preschool Teacher Speak

 

1175130_10201770936698929_1785395384_nWith Sweet R in preschool 2 days a week, I am starting to get familiar with how the next 20+ years are going to go…. I LOVE seeing how much each day. There are already little cliques and groups and she has her friends that she talks about long after we leave the school yard. It’s adorable, it really is.

Alas, she is not the only one who is gaining an education….

Though my days of formal education are long past, this whole parenthood thing is a doctoral thesis waiting to happen. The research is ongoing, the edits are frequent, and the interpretation is well, hazy at times. But, we learn as we go…and we try to sound like we know what we are doing along the way!

My current area of parental study, is “Teacher Speak”. More specifically, “Pre-School Teacher Speak”. Miss R has been fortunate enough to have a streak of great, caring, involved, dedicated teachers in her education thus far. I have no complaints about any of them (honestly!). In fact, some of them may be reading this and if they are….KUDOS for what you do on a daily basis…I know I wouldn’t last a day! But I must say, I think there is a special section of the pre-school teacher handbook that is dedicated to “How to sugar coat the children’s behavior to the parents”. Ya’ll are fabulous at it! Typically, it is only after the kiddos are loaded into the family-wagon and we are halfway home that I think to myself…..”Ahh, so THAT’s what she really meant by that….”

Below are some of the translations I have been able to decipher thus far. I provide them as a P.S.A. for all of you parents of pre-schoolers out there (or those who will eventually be)….

“Your daughter/son was SOOOO funny today….”
Translation: “For the love of all that is holy, your child told me the same knock-knock joke no less than 34 times. They got it right twice. Teach them some new material”

“She/he is so creative….” (as you are examining the day’s “art” project)
Translation: “Maybe you should steer her more toward a career in physics….or math…”

She/he was so energetic today….”
Translation: You may want to stop on the way home for some children’s Benedryl…”

Fill-in-the-blank brought in cupcakes today for their birthday….”
Translation: “You may want to stop on the way home for some children’s Benedryl…”

“She/he really took a light nap today…”
Translation: “The wall is near….and they are running at top speed right toward it. Good luck with that.”

Look who’s here _________! It’s mommy!!!” (In an overly enthusiastic voice…)
Translation: “Not it! Black out forever!!” (fist to chin motion….)

Alright preschool warriors, I am sure there are plenty of inferences that I am missing here. Hey, I still have another year and a half of my preschool education to go! Let’s help each other out here….whatcha got?

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One Response to Decoding Preschool Teacher Speak

  1. Elisa September 9, 2013 at 10:21 pm #

    hilarious!

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