First of all, if you’re one of those grieving during this holiday season I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re feelings are filled with wishing those who aren’t here anymore were here to see it all, to be with you. I’m so sorry you have a hurting heart during a time where people seem to annoyingly happy and there are memories everywhere you turn your head.
Loss sucks. Being without someone you love is a heavy, nasty feeling. I lost one of my very favorite people at the end of January this year, my grandfather. My family grew up less than a mile away from my grandparents. We went over to their house almost every Sunday for dinner to spend time with cousins, aunts and uncles … the whole family was there. A lot of families meet only on holidays and special occasions, but I consider myself lucky knowing that I was able to get a LOT more family time than that. We are a very close family and grieving my grandfather this year during Christmas will be hard. I’m sorry if it will be hard for you too.
I’m not sure who you lost. I’m not sure if you were close to your loved one like I was with my grandfather, but I know it hurts. I know you’re constantly thinking of them and wanting to talk with them about your favorite memories you’ve had over the years, especially during the holiday season. I know you’ll miss things like hearing their laugh or seeing them in the same red Christmas sweater they wore every year. I’m sorry you are grieving too.
I don’t have any tips or advice for how to get through this hard time. I wish I did as I’d be using them myself. People are telling me, “Oh remember the good times! Enjoy the moment!” No. Thanks for the unsolicited advice, but I’m still hurting and you may be too. I know how frustrating it is to hear people “encourage” you through this difficult time when all you want to do is hug that person missing at the Christmas table. The only kind of encouragement I have for you is this: you’re not alone.
On one hand, it’s even more sad that you’re not alone because that means other people are hurting. On the other hand, you have people who are going to understand your feelings and can relate to you more than you know. Even though you’re not alone and it’s nice to know that, it’s still hard. During this holiday season, I hope you can enjoy the time with those who are there while remembering dearly those who aren’t. I hope your pain turns to joy when memories are brought up. I hope you are surrounded by love and support, and I hope your holiday season, even with the grieving, doesn’t come with the pain you’ve been feeling.