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Why I Really Want a Mom Tribe Like Yours

I’m going to just come right out and say it: I’m jealous of your mom tribe.

You know, that group of ridiculously fearless, strong, beautiful mamas you have play dates, group messages, and adorable family get togethers with… that tribe.

Over the past couple of months, I’ve stumbled upon a number of ridiculously hilarious and all too truthful blogs about the struggle to make mom friends. When these writers compare it to dating – it’s humorous, but it’s also painfully accurate. The struggle can be real, and while I can definitely find the humor in the entirely awkward endeavor, there’s also a really huge part of me (probably the anxious, introverted part) that finds all of it so overwhelming.

When you’ve entered motherhood with only a handful of close friends, none of whom have children of their own, and you also happen to be inherently quiet, it can be really tough to “find your tribe”. Putting yourself out there, even with acquaintances, in an effort to build those tight-knit mommy groups you see around social media can be ridiculously daunting.

And I’m not even entirely void of mommy interaction!

I belong to an amazing Facebook mom group and it has been my saving grace on more than one occasion. Writing for this blog has also opened me up to more incredible moms. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for my social media mom space. I mean, I’m definitely more myself from the comfort of a keyboard; but nothing compares to the interaction and support of real life, you know? 

We all need that. We need those play dates that allow us to get out of the house, kids in tow, and enjoy the company of others. It’s good for our kids and it’s good for us. We need those mamas who can commiserate when you have a distraught kiddo, make you laugh when all you want to do is cry and recognize sleep deprivation when it’s written all over your face (and clothes and body). Those fun get togethers and combined family events gives our kids a chance to socialize, it gives us a chance to socialize, and we deserve to have some fun. We need other mom friends because they inherently just get you.

I long for that. In fact, if I’m really laying it all on the table, it has even (often) brought me to tears. I’m jealous of those friends that all had babies around the same time and get to share pregnancy and every year after together. And yeah, I know, there are apps to meet mom friends and you can strike up a conversation with a random stranger (just like dating, am I right?), but it’s just not that easy for us mamas who happen to be so inside our own heads that we can’t even think straight. For us awkward mamas, it can be really hard. Online is easy – real life? Ugh.

So… how can we build the bridge from social media mom friends to the kind of mom tribe we’ve always yearned for? I’m all ears. Bonus points if you’ve got tips for us quiet, anxious moms.

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8 Responses to Why I Really Want a Mom Tribe Like Yours

  1. Sara November 9, 2017 at 2:51 pm #

    Although I have an awesome mom tribe (from Jewish Bany University class) I have found hat getting to know my kids’ classmates mom’s a little hard since I don’t pick them up from school, I don’t get to see the moms that often. At school each kid has a file where they place their art for the parents to take home, so I once place an hand written invite to those kids’ mom who my daughter is closest to and I invited them over for a Sunday playdate. Not everyone was able to come but at least it got the ball rolling for future playdatea and I now have a nice group of mom friend from school.

    • Felicia
      Felicia November 10, 2017 at 7:10 am #

      That’s such a great idea!

  2. Brooke November 10, 2017 at 4:48 am #

    I totally was a green eyed jealous monster a week ago when trolling Instagram. A coworker of mine was sharing pics of her Mom tribe and their amazing girls weekend in NYC. They looked like they were having the time of their lives as I was sitting on my couch in yoga pants, a dirty T-shirt and a sleeping toddler on me. One thing I still have yet to figure out is how do you even start Mom dating? I’ve tried Mom groups, support groups, different local events in the hopes of meeting someone and yet still have not. At least with dating there’s lots of places to find people not so much with Mom tribes. If you have any suggestions please let me know.

    • Felicia
      Felicia November 10, 2017 at 7:11 am #

      Girl, I’m with you. It’s so hard!

  3. Suzanne Smailagic November 10, 2017 at 8:04 pm #

    Honestly I am in the same boat. I have a full-time job and I am super jealous of mom tribes I hear about going to the library classes in the middle of the morning, or going to play dates in the middle of the afternoon. My son and I get out and do a handful of things each weekend, but I just haven’t found any mamas I connect with. My son is 15 months old and I would love to find some other mamas with kiddos his age.

    • Felicia
      Felicia November 12, 2017 at 7:54 pm #

      It’s definitely made even harder when you have limited time. Why is it so hard to find mom friends??

  4. Wendy November 11, 2017 at 8:53 pm #

    I’m with you….I try so hard but I’m not the first mom everybody wants to play with!

    • Felicia
      Felicia November 12, 2017 at 7:55 pm #

      It’s so hard. You’re not alone, mama!

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