Before I had my daughter, I didn’t have many friends. I worked a lot and spent most of my non-working hours with my husband. We had some couple friends here and there and I had some friends through work, but for the most part, it was just him and me.
I never planned to be a SAHM but life happened and one thing led to another and in 2009 I found myself in a new city, staying home full time with an 8 month old. It became clear quickly that I needed friends. And I needed them badly.
Being a stay at home mom can be isolating, but whether you work full time or part time or stay home full time, I encourage you to find your “people”.
You need friends, Mama.
You need friends who can relate to what you are going through as a mom.
You need friends you can commiserate with on everything from sleeping through the night (or, um, not), to childhood eating habits, to potty training, to finding the right preschool and kindergarten and beyond.
You need friends to laugh and cry with (hopefully more laughing than crying), share a cup of coffee (or wine!) with, and vent to.
You need someone you can call or text when the going gets rough or just to say Hi.
But, Eileen, you say. Meeting new people is sooooo hard. I agree. It can be. You have to really put yourself out there. You have to be open to it. You have to be friendly. It can be oddly like dating. It takes time. Not everyone is in the market for a new BFF. But, maybe you are in a new city, maybe you have a child or two or three or four. Maybe you crave some sisterhood. So you have to do it for your own sanity.
I am a huge believer in MOMS Club. A Google search led me to this group several years ago and I have no doubt some of the friends I have made in this group will be my friends for life. You can also find some great groups on Meetup.com. You can find groups with all sorts of interests on that site (adoptive mom groups, photographer mom groups, stay-at-home moms, working moms, moms of school age kids…just do a search and you will be surprised at the variety of groups.) I’ll admit it has been hit or miss for me, but I have made a couple of friends though groups I have found on there.
Be persistent; if you find a group that doesn’t mesh with you, try again. MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) is another option. Attending “Mommy and Me” classes at Gymboree or My Gym, music classes, swim classes, library story time, etc. will automatically put you in a group of other moms with kids of similar ages. I met a woman who is now one of my dearest friends randomly at a library story time. And don’t underestimate the power of just talking to another mom who looks lonely at the park or at school. Also, we would love to see you at some of the events North Phoenix Moms Blog holds! Come join us for a playdate or Moms Night Out! We love making new friends!
People tend to come into our lives at the right time. I have definitely found this to be true of the friends I have made since becoming a mom.
How do you make friends? Did you find you needed to make “mom friends” after becoming a mom? How did you go about doing that? Let us know in the comments!