Sometimes being a bad person, can feel so right. I recently published a blog about the 15 ways motherhood has made me a better person, but let’s be honest – motherhood doesn’t only bring out the best in us – it also brings out the very, very worst. Motherhood has truly made me a better person, but it has also turned me into a bad one.
Call it “Bad Moms” inspired, but I decided to outline and laugh at all the ways motherhood has actually made me a super annoying, bad person. Read on.
- I try to “teach” everyone how to be better people. With the increased reflection of my own actions and behavior, I’ve apparently also become super aware of other people’s. Yep, I’m that ridiculously annoying person who wants to teach everyone how to “reflect on their behavior,” which means I sometimes end up treating my loved ones like kindergartners and it’s pretty much THE WORST. I can’t help it…
- I am so ridiculously flakey. It’s not intentional, but let’s be real – when you have a young child, dispositions can change hourly… which means, sometimes I have to cancel at the very last minute. Forgive me?
- Facebook has become (even more of) my highlight reel. Not to mention the fact that I generally only post about my daughter (because she’s the cutest thing on this earth, obviously!). I’m sure half (alright, I’m probably being way too generous here) of my friends list couldn’t care less, but I sure do love seeing those memories pop up every year! #shameless
- I shower way less than any normal, clean person should. I often trade in my shower for an extra 20 minutes of sleep. Like… really often. I swear I don’t smell, but sometimes you have to prioritize – and sleep tends to claim spot number one.
- My patience is thinner for everyone BUT my child. Sometimes it takes all my willpower to remain patient and calm in the face of a distraught toddler, which in turn, leaves very little left for those around me. I don’t erupt like a volcano or anything – but ughhhhh it sure does wear thin for everyone else.
- When I’m tired, I’m the laziest person on the planet. No, but seriously. You couldn’t pry my body off the couch if you tried. The second we put our daughter down for bed, I snuggle into the corner of the couch and all hope of cleaning the kitchen is completely lost. I’m not even sorry about it.
- I’m overly grateful. And it’s annoying. I mean seriously. Sometimes I think my loved ones want to knock the rose-colored glasses right off my face.
- I’m a mom-tog to the max. But not in the talented photographer kind of way, in the “Ohhh I hope she does that again so I can film it” kind of way. And then I bombard my loved ones with videos and photos they probably have seen 100 times already. But hey, this is who I am now.
- I sneak crappy food. No, it’s like really bad. My daughter now knows that when mommy disappears behind the kitchen sink (I swear I don’t hide… but even if you did, I wouldn’t judge you) and there’s a slight crinkling sound, it’s probably because I’m sneaking a ding dong or some other ridiculously awful-for-you but oh-so-yummy treat.
- I’m kind of a bad listener. It’s not intentional, but it’s hard to ignore (and really, I don’t want to) the needs of the little person in front of me. I swear I will get caught back up – but I’ll probably interrupt the conversation several more times while I make sure my daughter isn’t about to hurt herself or eat something she shouldn’t.
- I use motherhood as an excuse not to clean. What? Our guests can’t expect me to have a clean house… I have a kid. There are toys everywhere, you might have to sit on a stuffed animal if you want a place to relax in the family room, and there might (no, definitely will) be dishes in the sink. Sorry I’m not sorry!
- I take ZERO time to style myself. Okay, maybe this one doesn’t make me a bad person – but I definitely put the majority of my energy into coordinating my daughter’s outfits rather than my own. My kid looks freakin’ adorable, though! Oh me? I’ll be over here with my gym clothes and greasy ponytail, thanks.
- I have way too much fun with my kid. It probably doesn’t help that I tend to be socially awkward around other adults… but I actually have a REALLY fun time hanging out with my kid. Like so much fun that I don’t even notice that I sometimes go entire days without adult interaction (besides my husband). Is something wrong with me?
- I’ve lost all sense of boundaries. This one went out the window during labor… All of a sudden, I have absolutely no problem talking about pregnancy, labor, postpartum, and all of those semi-private things that happen to women when they grow and then birth a human being. TMI?
- I have a minor sense of entitlement. I know, it’s terrible, but I’m working on it… I often find myself thinking “Don’t they know I have a young child? Why aren’t they being more accommodating?” And then I remember that the world does not revolve around my family and in fact, there are millions of children in the world and people can’t be overly accommodating to every single one of them. Then I serve myself a big ol’ piece of humble pie.
This is the moment where I give a high five, a fist bump or an “I feel ya” nod to all of the other “Bad Moms” out there.