Oh mamas. You are so much more than just a mom. Now the title “mom” is absolutely, most definitely, the largest, most needed title in your life, but don’t stop there. No mama, keep going. Stretch out and really get YOUR identity back. Because I promise you, it will make you a better mother. Here are a few ways to get your identity back.
- Workout. Have the husband take the kids, or get up before they do and go out for a run. Find a time that is for you, only you, to get a good sweat in. This session isn’t just good for your body, but also your soul. You will feel replenished and ready to take on the day with your sweet family after you took sometime to yourself. Find. The. Time. It’s there somewhere if you look hard enough.
- Read a Book. Pick one for pleasure, or sharpen your skills in a career that interests you. For me, my background is in marketing. So I am constantly reading new books on marketing concepts, new tools, online advertising and more. I want to keep these skills sharp because one day I will be working more when the kiddos are off to school in a few years. Love this list from fellow #nphxmoms contributor!
- Plan a Date Night. Our sweet children keep us busy day and night leaving little time for our significant others. I try to find time and purpose for date nights where we can go out to dinner and do something fun without the kids. It’s amazing how much we are able to talk about without little voices chiming in. We also talk about how much we miss them while we are out, but my heart feels so full after a night alone with my other half.
- Create Goals. I know this one sounds cliché but create some personal goals. I try to do something for my home, my husband, my work, and myself, everyday. I try to add this on top of serving my kids, as that is top on my priority list. The rest are squeezed in. I am able to find time if I am intentional about it. Set some long-term goals as well. One of mine? A trip alone with my husband (which is planned and coming up!) and running a half marathon. Goals help keep us focused and give us something positive to work towards.
- Be Intentional with YOUR Time. This is a big one for me, and in fact, I wrote about it here not long ago. There just isn’t enough time in the day to do everything. So, cut out the junk. Spend less time on social media and cut out the friends that really weigh you down or don’t support you. Instead, focus on building quality relationships, not quantity. I have to look at a meeting, or a birthday party and decide if it’s what is best for my family and myself. This is how I am intentional with my time. It means being OK with saying no.
My best advice to help you get your identity back, with a true sense of self, is to figure out what you really want. I know for me, I always want to be a good mother, but I also want to be a great wife, a true friend, a valuable asset to my business, and am always wanting to help someone in need. I base my decisions on of those values, using the tools I have listed above. What do you want your identity to say about you?