Let me start by saying, if you have a healthy relationship with your mother than this statement is probably a bit shocking. I imagine some women thinking to themselves, “wow that is extreme” or “I could never do that”, however, for those of us that have a less than ideal relationship with our mothers, this statement might hit close to home.
Relationships are complicated. On one hand they can be the best thing in the whole world and make you feel loved and secure, while on the other hand they can be messy, turbulent and unhealthy. Without going into details, the relationship I had with my mother leaned more towards the “unhealthy”. As we get older and have families of our own, we realize that setting priorities is key to a happy existence, and that healthy relationships are the most beneficial in both the short and long run. With age, our eyes also open to the fact that people who are supposed to love and care for us, don’t always have our best interests in mind.
I stopped communicating with my mother a while ago and noticed the positive change it had in my mood and attitude—her need for drama was something I could never understand and quite frankly it stressed me out. I knew that this unnecessary stress was not good for me, and I did not want it to affect my children in any way—so I simply moved on.
While we had not spoken in some time, we were still Facebook “friends”. I had hit that “unfollow” button long ago and thinking back, I am not quite sure why I didn’t hit the “unfriend” button then, but for whatever reason I didn’t. Until now.
By unfollowing her, instead of “unfriending” I realized that I was still allowing her little glimpses into our family’s world, my whole world. I have never been big on, or great at, sharing personal details of my life online, but noticed even more so that since I knew she could see my activity, I was even more hesitant to share practically anything at all. She had stopped being a part of our life years ago and each time I saw her “like” a picture, it upset me. I simply did not like the fact that she could pop in on her whims and decide that she wants to peek into our world.
Since hitting that little button, I do feel like a little weight has been lifted. So for those of you out there pondering whether or not to block or unfriend a parent or relative, just know that there are others out there having the same mental debate and my advice is to do whatever is going to make you happiest. Heck, even royalty has to deal with complicated family relationships.