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Why I Will Not Be Piercing My Daughters Ears

piercing

I love all things girlie. I love high heels, cute clothes and beautiful jewelry, including earrings. My ears are pierced and you can typically find me in my favorite diamond studs that my husband gave me. So you can tell, I am certainly a fan of these tiny holes that allow for the cutest accessories that doll up any outfit, but it is different when you are talking about your children’s ears. When I was pregnant with my daughter it didn’t even cross my mind until a friend bought me a gift. When I opened it, my heart sank as I saw these adorable sterling silver earrings, made so small and perfect just for a baby.

I assume your going to pierce Ellie’s ears when she’s born, so I wanted to get her some special earrings.”

I quickly thanked her and tucked the beautiful gift away. That night during my pregnant insomnia, it hit me. Am I piercing my little baby’s ears? Is this something I want to do? And the answer, for me, was no. Let me explain. 

I was an infant when my mom took me to get mine done. I don’t ever remember it and I’ve always known them to be pierced. I see why some parents opt for this route, since it’s easier for them to keep them clean and less likely they will mess with them when they are infants. I totally get this position that some parents take.

But I chose to decline ear piercing for my daughter for one specific reason, and that it is because I want it to be her decision. Who am I to decide that my daughter’s ears will be pierced? That this elective and cosmetic procedure is for her? What if she doesn’t like earrings? What if she didn’t want those extra holes for life? As parents, we make so many life decisions for our children everyday (the joys of parenting) like vaccinations, education, clothing, rules, bedtimes, etc. that I think we need to leave a few decisions for our children, for when they get a little older, and have the ability to decide for themselves. 

I know it seems like a simple and normal thing to do, but I want my daughter to learn that we are here to protect her and her body, and when she is old enough and decides to get her ears pierced, then I will be happy to support her and take her to get them done. I’m assuming around 9-10 years old she will start noticing friends that have earrings, and she will then decide if this is something she wants to do. For me it is a form of a life lesson for her, because these small holes will be there for the rest of her life. I want her to make certain she wants them, and understands the responsibility that comes along with it, such as keeping her ears clean, and keeping track of her new jewelry. 

I know what your thinking, earrings are so common, and so many kids and women have them done, but this to me isn’t about the ears being pierced, but about self awareness, protecting her body, and helping her make good decisions that will last a lifetime.

What do you think? Have you pierced your children’s ears?  Did you wait until they asked or did you get it done when they were babies? 

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10 Responses to Why I Will Not Be Piercing My Daughters Ears

  1. Hannah E February 18, 2017 at 1:34 pm #

    How did you determine 9/10 was the age you’d allow her to make that choice? What makes 9 the magic number for that kind of responsibility? What if she asks for them when she’s 8? Or 5? Or 3? How do you know she’ll understand the long term effects at 9 but won’t at 5? I haven’t pierced my 3 year old’s ears yet but she is very adamant that she wants it done and asks when she can get them pierced regularly. So how did you decide 9/10 was going to be the right age for your child?

  2. Julie Kern February 19, 2017 at 10:44 am #

    Getting my ears pierced was such a rite of passage as a girl. I am glad you are going to wait until she is ready and you can really experience it together! In my case, the Merle Norman lady was a friend of my mom’s and came to our house to do it. I remember so clearly her marking the spots with a marker and looking in the mirror to see if that was where I wanted them. And then, seconds later, my ears were pierced. Such a great memory with my mom–who passed away when I was 23. 🙂

  3. Ashley
    Ashley February 20, 2017 at 11:24 am #

    Hey Hannah! Thanks for the comment- I really chose that date because of my niece, who was around that age when she got hers done. She was showing the maturity to want them, and the commitment to take care of them. Now I know this can come earlier, and later for some girls, but I think that is a good average age based on family experience. I also found that they have the courage to actually get it done at this age. Many girls want them done, but are scared of the pain so they hold off for a few more years. Hope that helps. Thanks for reading!

  4. Misti February 26, 2017 at 11:32 am #

    I feel the same way! Surprisingly my daughter was just shy of 3 when she begged to have hers done. After her flu shot I explained that having her ears pierced would hurt like that. She told me that she didn’t care if they hurt and continued to ask for them so we went. I expected her to change her mind but she sat perfectly still for them. I’m thrilled she got to make the decision but I’m a little sad that she doesn’t seem to remember now. My biggest advice to anyone is DON’T CHANGE THEM FOR A WHILE! Of course we changed them as soon as it was okay and normal earrings don’t stay in as well. They often fell out. In the end I’m thrilled that she got to decide about her body for herself even though she was young.

  5. Becky February 27, 2017 at 5:43 am #

    My daughter decided when she was six that she wanted pierced ears. We negotiated that she could if she got her work done in school every day for a month. Her teacher was on board. Win-win since she finally learned to read.

  6. Barbara Finn March 1, 2017 at 2:15 pm #

    Totally against it for 2 additional reasons-
    Risk of infection and hurting-babies go through a ton of transition and I did not want my 2 daughters it have it done until school-aged-which they both did. I think they are cute but not necessary and in today’s anitbiotic resistant infections-not worth it!

  7. Jaimie March 4, 2017 at 4:00 pm #

    I asked for earrings at four and that was 36 years ago. My husband’s culture is to pierce baby ears but we have yet to do my 19 month old daughter’s ears because I also think it should be her choice. He keeps bugging me to do it but I will put it off as long as I can. It’s probably not that big of a deal really since most children’s holes will close up when the earrings are removed for a period of time. Every little thing doesn’t have to represent or mean something. Sometimes a hole is just a hole.

  8. Amy March 4, 2017 at 9:04 pm #

    I waited until my daughters were old enough to choose for themselves which was 9 for my oldest and 7 for my youngest. I will say though, my oldest was angry with me for not having them done as a baby. Bravery isn’t her strongest trait, but when she was finally brave enough to do it I knew without a doubt that she wanted it badly.

  9. Kim March 4, 2017 at 10:22 pm #

    Made my girls wait until they were 18 unless there was a good reason to have them done earlier/.It became a rite of passage along with registering to vote.

  10. Brenda March 6, 2017 at 9:45 am #

    I am waiting until my daughter is old enough to want it and can make the decision. I think it will likely to be around 10 or so, but we will see.

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