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Did I Just Get Dumped by a Friend?

I was recently dumped by a friend of five years. It was heartbreaking, and I honestly am still grieving a little. As my mind was processing this I also realized that I sounded and felt an awful lot as if I had just ended a romantic relationship. 

Dumped by a Friend

The following are 5 things that I realized are strangely similar in these two situations (getting dumped by a friend and ending a romantic relationship. 

  1. The dumpee feels shocked. I was blindsided. Now I know how the castaways on the television show Survivor feel.
  2. You start overthinking EVERYTHING about the final days. Questions like, “What could I have done better?” and, “What did I do wrong?” go through one’s head.  I started with these questions but ultimately reviewed things and realized that I didn’t do anything wrong. The miscommunication or the view of the other party is what ultimately went wrong.
  3. You grieve the loss of your future. With my friend, I grieved not having that future with our kids hanging out, all the plans for future outings, and just watching our kids grow up together.
  4. You stalk. Yes….you stalk. Are they having fun without me around? Do they even care about me not being around? Did they ever care about me? Unfortunately, I stalked Instagram. I felt like a high schooler, but I couldn’t help it. This went on for a few weeks and it was painfully obvious that her life didn’t need me in it, and maybe, she hadn’t ever really let me in it at all. In the end, I unfollowed and hid her profile for my own sanity.
  5. You have to break the news to your family. The bonus part for me was breaking the news to my husband (immediately) who helped me see that it wasn’t me. I didn’t miss something that day that solidified it for the friend. I had someone just as confused as I was, when I told my husband. Unfortunately, due to everyone in both families being friends, this “breaking the news” piece was really hard. Having to tell my 5-year-old she won’t see her friends again while she ugly cried in my lap saying, “but I just love them so much” is one of the worst things I’ve had to do, to date, as a parent.

All in all, we think we’re out of the “dating” scene just because we’re married, but in reality, all relationships are a form of dating. So for those of you out there who are dealing with being dumped … either romantically or by friendship, you’re not alone. Sometimes we need to just let go. 

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One Response to Did I Just Get Dumped by a Friend?

  1. Olyvia W. February 13, 2018 at 8:32 pm #

    You, MY FRIEND, are incredible. I know it’s easy to say “she’s the one missing out” but we both know that doesn’t help when you think of all the what if’s. It was good for my heart to get to talk to you about this because I realized just how unfortunately common this is. Thank you for being vulnerable.

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