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Focus on Joy

We all need a little detox from time to time. I’m not talking the “only drink juice for three days, live off lemonade, or tea for dinner” kind of detox. I am talking taking a mental break. Taking time to remember who you are, outside of mommy, if necessary. Taking the time to rid yourself of the negativity in your life and surround yourself with things that bring you joy. find joyFor me, this all started when I stumbled upon the book, Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis—highly recommended. Rachel is a fellow working mom who chronicles her journey to a more fulfilled and happy life by dispelling socially driven myths. This book really gave me a push into a mind frame that I think I had been searching for. Let’s face it, being a parent is hard. Your whole world changes in an instant and all of a sudden, it’s hard to remember who you are or rather, who you were prior to being mom. 

So, here is how it’s going down. I am setting a date and having a negativity detox. Anyone want to join me? Before you ask: what the heck is this hippy lady taking about? Hear me out. I just want to take some time to expel anything that isn’t serving me, or rather, focus on things that make me happier in my day to day. If you have read my pervious post, you know I am a fan of lists and plans. This endeavor is no exception.

The Find Joy Plan

  1. Take a social media break:   This is hard. It has become such habit to just open Instagram and scroll aimlessly through everyone’s “perfect” life. My three-year-old asked me the other day to put my phone down and play with him. This was a real kick in the butt. If he is noticing I am being an absent parent that this is a problem. It’s time to take a break. I want to be more in the moment, especially with my babies. I want them to remember me playing with them and not me being on my phone. 
  2. Make things that make me happy a priority: There are few things in this world that truly make me the most happy. For me, exercise is one of them. Part of that might be because my love affair with Barre3. I really can’t say enough amazing thing about this community and all the positivity it brings. The investment is 100% worth it in my life. Now, this may not be your jam, the point, is find something that you can do, just for you.  Not for your career, or your spouse. Not for your kids, family or friends. Something for just you.   
  3. Find an outlet: This really could be anything or anyone. For me, this is my friends that are closest to me and writing. I am lucky enough to have a few people in my life that really know me, and I can talk to openly and honestly without fear of judgment or criticism (unless it’s needed, which it for sure is from time to time). Journaling is a really safe place for me. It started when I was younger in a very “Dear Diary” type of way. Nowadays, I like a more structured approach that centers on positivity. Again, journaling might not be your thing.  The point is having somewhere to turn when you just need someone to talk to and get it out.
  4. Put only things I am comfortable with in and on my person: This one might sound a little odd. But I figure the more I turn to the most natural and organic products I can use and consume the better.  This isn’t (and hasn’t) happened overnight. But I am striving towards getting most chemical and heavily processed things out of our life for both me and my children. I am not going to pretend like I am never going to eat processed food or use conventional shampoo on occasion. I am striving for a more 80/20 approach—80% of the time as natural as possible, 20% other. At home I can control the environment and I want to make that the best environment I can, without beating myself up about it. Make your space about you and what you want.
  5. Don’t let other people tell me how to live my life: Probably the most important for me. Mom shaming is a real thing. Even if it is unintentional. Social media is a big culprit of this more me—hence plan task #1. We are all just trying to survive most days and those perfect pictures just aren’t reality for me. Am I doing something wrong? OR do I simply need to remind myself that everyone struggles.  My boys are happy and healthy. I (we) need to remind myself from time to time that I am (we are) doing a good job. What I think is best for them, really IS best for them. While we are at it. I am also making every effort not to shame other moms. What works for me and my family, may not work for theirs.  Let’s support each other rather than tearing each other down.

 So here goes nothing friends. I am jumping all in. Hoping at the end of this I come out a better me. Most importantly I want to be a person that is confident in who I am, no matter the season of life I am in. Stay tuned to see how it goes.  Anyone getting in one this? I would love to hear your journey, or even be a sounding board if you need one. 

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2 Responses to Focus on Joy

  1. stacey September 8, 2018 at 2:24 pm #

    <3!!!! Well said and done friend. xoxo

  2. Nikki September 10, 2018 at 11:16 am #

    Thanks love! Work in progress for sure

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